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Winning the Resilience award: my apprenticeship journey, by Millie Beardsley

Read Millie Beardsley’s apprenticeship journey so far and what led her to winning the Resilience award at the 2024 BBP Apprentice of the Year Awards. 

Last year I was awarded the BPP Apprentice of the Year Award for Resilience, and this is my story.

My resilience journey began back in secondary school. From a young age, I have battled with my mental health which impacted every aspect of my life including my ability to study and take exams. It peaked during my GCSE’s, and I didn’t achieve what I wanted to achieve. I took my GCSE’s and was so proud of myself for achieving 2 A’s 5 B’s and 3 C’s. One of my A’s being in Spanish; Muy buena!

I knew I wanted to study law from a young age, so I took Law, Psychology and Business Studies at college. My time at college was good until it came to take my A-Levels. I suffered with intense panic attacks and being a teenager, I didn’t know how to control them or why they were happening, and they ultimately got the better of me. I sat in my own room for my A-Levels as the thought of sitting in an exam room with hundreds of students sent me into intense state of panic and dread. Ultimately, I received BBC at A-Level, in which I’m so proud of achieving. This enabled me to secure a place at Sheffield Hallam University to study Law.

My family were so proud of me as I was, and still am, the only person to attend University in my family. I moved from my hometown to a city I’d never explored before. I met new friends, lived in halls and did my first food shop solo. With my birthday being the end of August, I was freshly 18 when I moved away from home to commence my degree at the beginning of September. I was now battling with my mental health solo. University hit me like a steam train; I felt so out of my depth. I battled through it, completed many exams, mock trials and a dissertation. In my second year, I joined the trampolining club. This opened up so many doors for me. I travelled across the country for competitions and my confidence grew tremendously. I was the social secretary for my team and organised events for Hallam and other universities across the country.

My last year of university was tough. I distanced myself from my friends and my team due to the immense pressure of a law degree. I was finally put on medication to stabilise my mood, and viola, I achieved a 2:1!

Then came REAL adult life and stepping into the working world. It took me many months to secure a legal role. I had countless interviews with law firms and the police, and I constantly kept getting knocked back. Where I applied were highly male dominated, and I was 20 year old female fresh out of university. It felt like nobody took me seriously. ‘You don’t have enough experience’ is what I heard the most. Finally, Irwin Mitchell took a chance on me. I was a MOJ Fast Track file handler for 2 and a half years with 400 cases at one point. During this time, I was applying for the LPC in readiness for a career as a Solicitor. I successfully secured a place at the University of Sheffield, and I was over the moon! Then came financing the course… At this point in my life, I was on a very low salary with high living expenses and simply could not afford to fund the course by myself. My mum is a single parent, and I had no savings. Therefore, I deferred my place for a year to enable me to save some money. When my deferred placement came around, I still didn’t have the sufficient funds to support myself, so I regrettably declined my place. I was utterly devastated as I thought my chance as a solicitor was over.

I continued working in my role as an MOJ handler, and saved everything I could in hopes one day I could re-apply and commence the course. Then COVID hit. I was sent home for ‘2 weeks’ which turned into a few years. My mental health rapidly declined. I was isolated, but I was very good at my job, and this kept me afloat. One of my closest friends and colleagues unexpectedly took their own life, and it was extremely difficult to understand why and if I could’ve helped in anyway.

I was then informed by Irwin’s that they were closing my department and transferring colleagues across to Minster Law. Many of my friends left the business and moved to different firms, commenced the LPC, commenced training contracts and even went travelling. They saw this as an opportunity, but I couldn’t see past the thought of this being another rejection. I felt lost.

I commenced working at Minster Law, and the grey cloud of doom over my head dissipated. The atmosphere was so positive, and it was like I was finally reaching the light at the end of the tunnel. One of the days, I saw an advertisement for the Apprenticeship Programme. As a fluke, I applied. The fear of rejection hit hard once again; why would they choose me? To my surprise, I aced every single part of the interview process, and my personality and intelligence was exactly what they were looking for. I finally found my place! I became a Trainee Solicitor on the Apprenticeship programme and it’s the best step in my career I’ve taken so far. I commence the programme in September 2022, and hopefully due to qualify as a solicitor this year (2025)! However, I did not comprehend how difficult it would be to balance work and studying.

At the start of my course, I couldn’t handle the pressure due to sheer of amount of studying, and my mental health once again dipped. I was constantly stressed, sad, and felt defeated and this led to burn out within my first year. Minster Law was understanding of this and offered me the option to defer my apprenticeship. However, I’m not one to give up that easily. I continued to fight for my place on this course. I contacted my GP, and my medication was increased, and to my surprise, they explained I’m showing symptoms of ADHD and high functioning autism. This goes unnoticed in adult females, and females in general of all ages actually. I’m now 26 but have been showing these symptoms from my early childhood with no medical support. The reason why everything seems so difficult is because I see and feel the world around me in a different way… and I have come to accept that this is OK!

I am now managing my mental health better due to my GP’s help and research and I’m learning to work and study in a way that is right for me. I recently sat my SQE 1, and its not for the faint hearted. I have been preparing for this exam for the past 2 years; working until 5pm and revising until 9pm most days. This is due to the immense about of information you need to learn and retain. The last few weeks have been really tough for me; 12 hour study days 7 days a week, MCQ after MCQ and two 6 hour exams really takes a toll on you mentally and physically.

Luckily, Kaplan allowed me to have extra time for my exams because it takes me a hot minute to read and process the information in front of me, especially when you’re given 2 minutes to answer a complex legal issue when 5 exceptions could apply. But there’s so many of us out there who are sitting the SQE’s with reasonable adjustments, and that is OK! YOU’VE GOT THIS! If I can reach this stage in a highly competitive, stressful and demanding career, so can you. I’m due to receive my SQE 1 results in March and I’m manifesting a pass. If I see the dreaded fail, I won’t dwell to much and will simply retake the exam at the next opportunity. It is TOUGH, hence the 44% pass mark last year.

REMEMBER, take regular breaks, eat well and look after yourself. I neglected myself for many years and the rejections and push backs solidified this for me. But now I see it as; I can hyperfocus for hours on end, I remember and retain information, I see every intricate detail on case files, I am understanding on the impacts of mental health, and I am someone you can rely on to get the job done.

I am resilient.

Millie Beardsley joined the solicitor apprenticeship scheme in Sept 2022. You can find out more about the scheme and how to apply to our solicitor apprenticeships by visiting our careers hub.